I am back people
wow, i cant believe it has been two weeks since my last blog post, it has been very busy and stressful my dissertation is due in a month and I am miles away from completing.
I have had some issues with my participants due to scheduling and etc some have had to drop out and some aren’t available any more to participate #total nightmare.
But Really and truly i am struggling i feel like i have should have started ages ago im getting stuck on what is a paradigm and my epistomological stance ( PRAY 4 me) and basic things that people in my stage should know. I really want to do well lets just hope, pray and wish that I make it In’SH’Allah Khair!
Also Im having major regret with my dissertation project the more i write , the more i realise i am reiterating research that is already there. I want to make a change and i think to a certain extent there is room to make change my focus group gave me hope, i asked my participants questions and we went of topic into a whole new area that has not be researched so i felt like wow why didn’t i go down this route of unexplored greatness!!
There are so many things i would have changed about the whole process and Insh’ALLAH if i do my Masters i will enforce these and hopefully it can make me a better academic and person. WOWW because this year has been such a learning curve
I wonder who I am.
I wonder who I should be.
I wonder will I ever be free?
I wonder if this is really me?
Just a delayed update on my focus group. lol I was supposed to blog this two days ago but life got in the way. I feel so overwhelmed with the workload right now and it’s taking its toll on me😿😿😿 so many people are coming up to me saying that they have done their literature reviews methodology etc and I have only just done one part of my research oh hell nah! . But insh’Allah khayr I can do this! Slow and steady wins the race !! I’ve overcome so much in the past three years I’m not gonna let this stop me!! Sooooooo…
Positive mindset!!!! All day everyday lol going back to the original purpose of this post today I am going to talk to you about the focus group. so basically going in to it I was very nervous but I did an icebreaker and slowly I felt more confident and the participants were becoming more comfortable ( i also brought cakes and chocolates;)). So I started the recording after gaining their consent and started with question one and immediately they answered all of the questions within the first questions so I had to improvise and make some more up on the spot and i gained a lot of good answers and feedback
There was obviously dominant speakers but I ended up directing questions to the quieter particapants and also prompting questions so everyone was able to contribute.
I ended up getting an hours worth of recording and data and I’m so pleased I’m eternally grateful for the participants because I was able to hear their views and they spoke with honesty and conviction and made me realise that my topic is important and that I can make a change so Many individuals feel failed, underappreciative disrespected by institutions they fought so hard to join and it is very disappointing!
The question I have been asking myself all week where art thou? ( I don’t really speak in Shakespearean English, but it sounds cool right?) methodology, well to be honest I don’t know what I am doing. I really wish I had paid attention but in lectures my attention often wonders off somewhere else I can’t help it.
The lecturer either talks to fast and I’m trying to note down what they are saying not even trying to comprehend what have I written and when I get home to look at it have no clue what wrote or i can’t read it lol. But the point of the blog is for me to be completely honest and I’m just going to say it how it comes to me so, I feel like we should have be taught how to do important things like literature reviews, methodology and in general research in first or second year because I really don’t feel confident doing this and the pressure is at an all time high. Ok I think it’s time to move on to a lighter subject.
So what I think I have to do is,
- Discuss my methods in research e.g focus group, interview
- Justify why I chose it
- Show the stages in how collected and prepared for my research
- Ethical considerations
- Bring in some references about research
- Talk about my positionally maybe
So far this I what methodology means to me, it has to be 2,200 *ill have to double check these figures*
I think when I conduct my research it will become easier for me because right now I have nothing to base it on! Also what is so annoying is that my participants for my interview have still not responded 🙈
So that’s another thing on my list to do, contact them
Btw my focus group is today and I am so nervous I have never done something like this before and I am quite an introvert so it’s very scary. I’ll let you know how it goes
#thesis #dissertation #methodology #research #scary #introvert
So it’s 7:50 am and I’m still in bed, my body is saying go back to sleep but my mind is telling me noooooo! Lol have had a late night doing some research for my psychology essay. so it’s only logical I have a lie in right? But no I can’t , I have a very long and important day today- in case you didn’t know today is the day, the day I finally do my research.
I know it’s late but late is better than Never. I need to get this show on the road so I have booked a room at 5pm and the method I am using is a focus group why may you ask because my research is qualitative I want to get an insight into the views beliefs and and opinions of the Group I am researching which is BME students. If you don’t know what that means it’s a term which stands for Black minority ethnic – and is normally used in the U.K. To describe people of non white descent.
Another thing is though I am now so sceptical of that label after going to a meeting, why do we label ourself and if we want to be stop being seen as a minority why do we put outselves in that label. Okkkk my brain is all over the place.
But I don’t think I have yet mentioned what my research project title is, so here you go it is looking at the the relationship between BME Students engagement with the curriculum and their university experience. The rationale for picking this is because of my positionality really I am Black , Female and Muslim so I feel like my intersectionality has really played a part in my university experience and how I have engaged with my modules.
I want to gain and understanding of whether there is a correlation between these to factors and if they influence the BME attainment gap. Which is a current debate and to speak frankly I don’t know where I stand if you asked me in September do you feel as if there is a BME attainment gap ?I would say 100% but not I’m not too sure maybe I’m being very critical.
Ok next post will be about my focus groups questions & methodology
Xoxo Nabeela #thesis #dissertation #university #BME #journey#thesis #methodology #new